Must see movie: Why Did I Get Married

I didn't expect anything less from Tyler Perry and his new movie, "Why Did I get Married Too," than a hilariously-crazy, hot mess ably portrayed by good-looking and well-dressed actors.

My spirits were dampened somewhat by this New York Times review, but in my estimation the reviewer got it wrong. The sequel to "Why Did I get Married?" hit all the levels of pathos in American life and marriage. That Tyler is really focusing on black American life and marriage may be why the reviewer didn't get it.

I got it all. The struggle of black couples, many the first in their generation to attend college, earn professional credentials and acquire financial power and all the trappings of success - while not losing your soul, the very essence of who you are - is a very real struggle many of us go through on the regular.

I identified with some, ok many, of the characters' longings for love and familial stability. They each expressed their needs differently, but the same search for something - God knows what - that drives many of us, were in full view here.
Janet Jackson's character fought for control and while she never lost, irreparable damage was the price she paid. The challenges faced by the four couples are familiar. Love tested by economic hardship and male pride; been there done that. Commitment tested by the desire to have it all, right now, check that off my list.

I love that Tyler portrays black men as smart, sexy and emotionally available enough to be befuddled, and yes hurt, by the women they love. The men use humor, not all of it actually funny, to get through the tough times but that too rang true to me. Women pour a glass of wine and discuss their issues directly, including naming names. Men don't do that. The closest a man will get to saying his wife is getting on his last nerve is to joke about it with the fellas. The joking may seem stilted or forced, but it is what lies beneath the jokes that is at the heart of those scenes.

Check out the movie, its a fun way to spend a couple of hours. We'll all have our favorite scenes and lines. The airport scene is a hot mess and hilarious. But the best part of the movie for me was gazing upon Cicely Tyson's gorgeous face shaped by a halo of white, luscious hair and knowing that advanced age is going to look good on me.

One last thing, maybe the vodka martini I had with lunch was affecting my cognition but I didn't see the syrupy ending that the New York Times reviewer criticized. The ending felt more like a version of finding the will to go on. The road wouldn't be easy but it would be the one to travel. Can't wait to hear what you thought of the movie.

Jaime Escalante stood and delivered

Every day Jaime Escalante stood in an L.A. classroom and delivered the kind of education every student, not simply those who are well off or lucky to have two parents, deserve. He wrote book and it became the hit movie, "Stand and Deliver."

Escalante died today at the age of 79 from bladder cancer. NPR has a pretty nice take on his career, with an able assist from the L.A. Times.

All the brain trusts directed at narrowing and closing the achievement gap and Escalante did it for his largely Mexican American. His method? Strict attendance and homework requirements.

I didn't agree with his opposition to bilingual education. I think requiring students to master English first ignores the fact that many students come to America proficient in every subject but English. The fact that they are forced to demonstrate their knowledge immediately in English is what trips them up and consigns them to struggle and often, failure.

Of Escalante I will say he left this lesson for educators: Teaching is part alchemic mix of motivating and exciting students about a subject. Mostly though it is the unglamorous work of showing up and working hard day in and day out and by example, showing students that success is nothing but a series of their strongest efforts.

The right to choose, yes even in high school

I owned today's editorial pages in the Seattle Times, both unsigned pieces are mine. Pretty proud of this piece defending a young girl's right to seek a pregnancy test at a high school school-based clinic and ultimately, her decision to have an abortion. Judging by the comments at the bottom of my editorial, seems many wanted her to walk around with a scarlet H (for harlot) on her shirt and oh yes, carry the baby to term. Whether she wants to or not. Political views absence compassion aren't worth having.

Here's the original story that led to my editorial.

If I ignore the Halloween candy will it go away?

Yes, that was a rhetorical question. Son says Halloween was the best night of his life, a quick tour through the neighborhood and then back to the house for Super Smash Brothers Brawl, popcorn and lemonade (wine and Mission Impossible for the waiting parents)

PTSA meeting in two hours so I'll be brief. As the parent of a kid who suffers from allergies I'm itching, (ha ha) to read "The Itchy Kids Club: Silly Poems for Itchy Kids." This book promises to be a great way for children to learn why their bodies react in different ways to various stimuli. Reading level is kindergarten through 4th grade. If you read it before I do, share your thoughts.

Wanted to note the passing of Theodore Sizer, a huge name in education circles. He authored a number of books on best practices in education, including Horace's Compromise and Horace's Hope.

One paragraph from this obituary in the LA Times sums up Sizer's philosophy nicely: "He stood for an ideal of school as a place devoted to nurturing "habits of mind," the ability to think deeply about the subjects that matter -- such as literacy, numeracy and civic understanding -- and connect that knowledge to students' lives."

Setting down the landing gear on helicopter parenting

When my son was a baby, I was the mother who couldn't CIO. I stopped breastfeeding when I discovered sprinting from a board meeting to his daycare two blocks away four or five times a day wasn't going to work. And I was the Mama Bear who shot dagger looks at any kid in the sandbox who even pondered thoughts of aggression towards my cub.

It was inevitable that I would turn into a helicopter parent, constantly hovering to pave the way for my child. Hovering over a four year old is acceptable, but trailing an eight-year-old to see how he manages the neighborhood boys (who-just-might-be bullies) and upon seeing him exit the bathroom asking if he wiped, I'm thinking is just nuts. Yet I've done it.

The arguments are strong both for and against helicopter parenting.

The other night I attended a Love and Logic parenting seminar. The biggest take away was letting your child fail. What???? I thought my job was to raise him well enough that he didn't fail. The seminar leader was talking about small failures, missed homework assignments, forgotten lunches etc. But even those options are daunting. In this high-stakes era I'm supposed to be nonplused if my son opts not to do his homework? And no food in his stomach could mean a low-achieving school day. Yet, I get her point. Children are told there are consequences for their actions but we parents tend to protect them from any adverse ones.

But what if we didn't? The answer is life would be a lot more challenging for them. And - we hope but are often afraid to risk finding out - our children would find the resiliency that child experts say they have. It is like letting your child take off down the sidewalk on their bike sans training wheels and parental assist for the first time. Your heart is beating a drum meter of fear, but you know it has to be done.

Good teachers and the end of cursive writing

Just got in from curriculum night. Always interesting to look around the room and see the parents with Harvard and Princeton in their eyes, the parents with nothing but time and the parents who come in late and then peek under the desk to check their Blackberrys. I am at various times all of them.

My column on good teaching elicited a lot of response and broad consensus on the type of creativity and fearlessness that makes classrooms work. Read and then take a fresh look at your child's teacher. You'll either be reassured or deeply depressed.

Interesting article on a dwindling emphasis on cursive writing, thanks to widespread reliance on computer keyboards and, in a pinch, old fashioned print writing. And wade through this report and see if you're spurred to get your kid to spend more time outdoors in order to boost their academic achievement.

Wow, the look I just got when I told my son we'd have to leave soon for the classroom Open House at school. He knew school was starting soon (tomorrow) but didn't know the final days of summer freedom had dwindled into minutes.

Labor Day used to signal the end of summer and return of school but now most school districts, including my own, are starting early, some in mid-August. Something is lost in the shortening of summer's r&r.

Spent two days buying school supplies and I still didn't get everything on the list. Speaking of which, I support the move by teachers to pass on supply needs to families. Teachers shouldn't have to dig into their pockets particularly. But the lists are mind-boggling. This story adds a bit of perspective. A colleague said I would spend $200 on school supplies this year. She wasn't far off the mark.

Check up this a.m. yielded nothing exciting except I must come up with ingenius ways to inject protein in someone's diet. Meat is out. And so I just discovered at lunch, is peanut butter. Sigh. Thank goodness oatmeal raisin cookies have raisins in them.

After the Open House, it is off to get groceries to supply school lunches. Clothes are laundered and stacked, sheets are clean and all that is left is to get JP to remember where the bathtub is located. (Yes, we really slacked off this summer.)